


Looking for Trouble

by oreosoreos



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Adopted Sibling Incest, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Cunnilingus, F/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, THIS IS PROBLEMATIC, Vaginal Penetration, age gap, corriander - Freeform, kamarx, sis con, slight Breeding Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oreosoreos/pseuds/oreosoreos
Summary: Xander can never say no to Kamui, and this weakness leaves him at her mercy. He's never one to go looking for trouble, so why start now?
Relationships: Marx | Xander/My Unit | Kamui | Corrin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is an anonymous gift to a friend.
> 
> Warning: it does not shy away from the step-sibling incest.

She had made an innocent request, and in what world is he ever going to say no?

Yet “no” is the word hanging on the tip of his tongue. He wants to say it — not to her, though. _Gods_ no, but he should have said it earlier, when she approached him in hush whispers after dinner. It was an odd request, to be sure, but not unprecedented.

 _‘Dear brother, I need you tonight.’_ At the time, she had the saddest pout he had ever seen, and the dark circles on her eyes were all the proof he needed of her recent troubles with insomnia. There was no arguing it: he would put her to bed, just like the old days.

What a fool he was!... Still _is_ , if he's honest with himself.

Not many men can keep their sanity long enough when presented with such temptations. With Kamui, the temptations are far too many. When they started, she complained of a soreness close to her thigh, and despite the increasingly odd nature of her requests, Xander readily gives the soothing caress she asks for. Her inviting smile keeps him level headed, and he swallows back whatever fear or apprehension he might have had with the gesture. At least, _she_ isn’t telling him “no.”

Xander bites back a groan when his knuckles brush against the hem of her nightgown. It’s a line he always respected, like some tacitly agreed-upon border between the two of them. These sorts of “comforts” were okay in their childhood days, but as the years go on, Xander finds himself unable to go past that line.

“If you please,” her pleas are subdued, but she casts a doe-eyed glance to lay it on thick, “I’m still a bit sore there.”

Somehow, Kamui manages to sound timid and commanding at once. She fixes a cat-like gaze on him, nibbling her index finger as she writhes beneath his weight. The sheets that were once over them are now sinfully wrapped between her thighs.

 _“Is this okay?”_ The question he wants to ask doesn’t come out, and by the time she moans in tacit answer, he doesn’t think he needs to ask after all.

Kamui stretches like a cat on the sheets, reaching out with all four limbs until her back is flush against the mattress. Her bare calf innocently grazes against his side, and despite _all_ the things they had been working up to doing that night, Xander’s breath still hitches from the contact of her bare skin against his.

“Come here,” he nearly barks the order. His hands grip her by the waist, and before she gets a word in, he pulls Kamui lower. His spine prickles at the sight of her sliding down the bed, relishing the way her messy curls fan out like luscious tapestry. Beneath the candlelight, her skin is all pink, and something about the tender rosiness of it all makes him hungrier than he ever thought possible.

There is less ceremony when he finally crosses that boundary, and to Xander’s comfort she _still_ doesn’t seem to mind. Kamui lets out a giggle when his hand goes from above her knee to the inside of her thigh, rubbing circles with his thumbs as her skin gets warmer and warmer.

All the while, Xander studies that luxuriating smile as she cranes her head back, stretching out with the full length of her neck as he gains more ground beneath her nightgown.

 _‘No,’_ he tries to tell himself again, but this time it’s not the thought that counts. It’s the way he stubbornly delights in the feel of her: wet, slick, and deliciously warm. He slides two fingers between her folds and manages, just in time, to stop himself when her legs jut out from the touch.

“Xander!” she whines out his name, and for a second he worries that it’s the ‘no’ he’s been dreading to hear ever since he agreed to spend the night with her.

But she gives a gentle squeeze around his hand, arching her back as she props herself up by her elbows. That relentless smile on her face widens to something else entirely, and before long she gives her assent with a slow roll of her lips. He gasps in surprise at first, troubled by how readily Kamui gives in to such heathenish desires, but he’s not exactly in the position to lecture her — not when he’s so being strung along. Her body goads him further, and before long the rhythm gets _so_ comfortable Kamui is singing him barely coherent praises.

He’s normally not one to go looking for trouble, but that night, Xander finds himself a little too far gone to be worried. Why should he care what the castle might think? He’s the Crown Prince, and as far as he’s concerned, she’s _his_ princess: the little princess he had watched grow into a startlingly beautiful woman; a woman who’s writhing from his touch and whose lips are full with pleasure.

They’re not the kids they used to be, he reminds himself. And given everything — given how hard she begged him to spend the night with her after months of his absence — the least he can do is pay her back for all that lost time. She’s a woman now, and she’s telling him so with the sinful rutting of her hips against his hand and the moans she’s biting back into her fist. Emboldened, Xander lurches forward, and the bed sinks with the weight of his knees as he hovers over her.

She’s practically vibrating by the time their eyes meet, and it’s enough to make the erection he’d been ignoring all the while become painful. His breeches feel a little too tight and a little too hot, and it doesn’t help that she’s clenching around his hand now that he’s stopped.

“What is it? Did I do something wrong?” She’s flustered now, if not a little flushed, and it’s enough to make him chuckle.

 _His Kamui_? Do wrong? He finds the notion implausible, but it’s precisely that bashful lechery of hers that gets him harder than any glimpse of her naked body can make him. “No,” he answers stoically, and he punishes her with a thrust of his fingers, rubbing and dipping into her wet core until she clamps down around him.

Kamui mewls through gritted teeth, submitting wholly to his touch. It seems so dirty, he thinks, to touch her like this. As far as _she’s_ concerned, he’s still her older brother. The truth gnaws at the back of his throat, and a part of him wants to clear things up before they go any further. He can end their torture right then and there by just _saying it_. And why shouldn’t he? If he could _just_ tell her…

“Xander… _please_ ,” her begging cuts through his thoughts, and she obliges him with a tug of her gown’s hemline, pulling it until the fabric dithers above her chest.

Xander bites back another groan, and he steadies his free hand over her thigh. She hasn’t asked, actually — technically. But he knows her better than anyone. With one look, he knows _exactly_ what she wants when she guides his other hand up to her breasts, letting him palm those supple curves as he grabs her harder than he should’ve.

Kamui winces, perhaps from pain, but she never says, “no.” The contortions of her brows, the bite of her lip, and the sweat beading down her temple eggs him on, and now Xander is massaging his little sister’s breasts with gleeful abandon.

“Kamui…” he utters her name, and the audibly stifling desire in his tone pinches his throat with guilt. Finally he allows himself the guilty pleasure of wedging himself between her thighs, rutting against her with his erection still fully clothed.

She watches him with bated breath, flashing a crooked smile now that he’s given her his answer. “Please,” she murmurs as she reaches up, and her lips ghost across his for a kiss, “I need you.” She mouths the words just as he presses down and kisses her, moaning into her mouth as his tongue wrestles against hers.

The rest is a blur, and he doesn’t stop to think how it might have hurt her when he forces the part between her legs and thrusts his fingers deeper. Ever impatient, Kamui answers back with a forceful tug of his lacings, freeing him from those unruly breeches.

Xander’s voice edges close to another hard-wrought groan when he feels her hand wrap around his cock. Her thumb grazes past the tip, toying with the slit forcefully enough that he lets out something closer to a moan. Thankfully, he can scream it all out in the thick of her hair, and already he’s drunk from the fresh scent of lavender and jasmine in her sweat-drenched strands.

He’s going crazy, and she knows it. Kamui bites back a giggle as she presses her chest against him, planting kisses all over the nape of his neck.

A part of him wants to know: was this her plan all along? A knot pulls at his chest the moment he thinks the question, as if merely uttering it condemned her — his otherwise sweet and innocent little sister — to something low and depraved. Yet isn’t she? How can she not be? Mere hours before, she had affectionately called him older brother during training, and it’s not like anyone disabused her of that notion all the while.

He had heard from the servants about her problems sleeping; about the ghostly moans and howls she’d let out on the nights he spent away from the fortress. When he finally made his visit, and she asked him to comfort her, _this_ is the farthest notion he had of “comfort.” His reservations at the time were wholly centered on appearances. Not everyone can turn a blind eye to a grown man sharing a bed with his younger (albeit voluptuous, he admits) sister. Yet there they are, touching each other and moaning, and her cunt is so wet from his hungry touch that he can _hear_ the sloppy rhythm of his handiwork.

He thinks he’s satisfied when her thighs tinge a little on the pink side. She’s panting now, and her dark pupils — normally so catlike in their slenderness — widen like black pools across her red eyes.

“Get up,” he murmurs the command with surprising tenderness.

Kamui balks at the sudden shift in tone, but her body, thankfully, has a mind of its own. She struggles at first, fumbling in the sheets with hitched breaths. She grabs onto his shoulders for support and sighs out in relief when she feels his hands grip her hips for anchor. At least, she thinks with a wry grin, her older brother is as ever-accommodating in bed as he is outside of it.

“Go to the floor Kamui… on your knees.”

The wad of air he gulps back is audible, and for a moment Xander fears that his sternness will crack the moment he tells her, exactly, what he wants. Still, none of the internal hemming and hawing stops him, just like how the “no” still lingering in the back of his mind doesn’t prevent him from moving to the edge of the bed with Kamui safely tucked in his arms.

“What’s the matter? Did I do something... ?”

As if on cue, her voice trails off, and she shoots him that same ample pout — that timid expression where her eyes glimmer with some unshed tear. By now, she’s playing a game, and _he_ knows it, but it tugs at his heart strings all the same.

“No, not at all,” he answers her, trailing his hands down the line of her jaw. “Just—” he pauses, not out of hesitation but from _fear_. Kamui glances up at him, waiting expectantly with her bright red eyes. “Be a good girl,” he finally breathes out, relaxing his shoulders as he pats her gently on the head, “and obey your brother.”

 _‘Obey,’_ Xander repeats the word in his mind. The corner of his mouth twitches, and for a moment he feels like he’s teetering on the edge, waiting and searching her face for any sign — any hint — that he’s finally crossed a line.

For all her bashful antics, she flashes him a knowing smile when she willingly lowers herself between his legs. Kamui seems unfazed by the cold stone slabs of the floor, as her eyes fixed on him when she kneels (as commanded) and lays dainty fingers along his thighs.

“Like this?”

It takes all his self-control not to grab her head — to twist his fingers into the bramble of her hair and pump his cock into her mouth with all his brutish strength. She’s looking at him with a slight pout, the same one she always gives him whenever she wants his favor. It bothers him how willingly she’s able to conjure up old memories and old habits despite the… _intimacy_ of their newfound situation. Worse, it disturbs him to learn just how much he’s _enjoying_ it all. She’s his little sister after all, and it doesn’t seem like she’s going to ever let him forget it.

“Yes, like— …” He doesn’t quite finish before she takes him in her mouth. He throws his head back, reeling from the white-hot feel of her tongue as it massages his shaft.

In that moment, Xander remembers an important detail. He isn’t _just_ her older brother — he’s also her mentor. In all their years together, he’s been her teacher and guide, and the thought alone gets his blood pumping more than the feel of her small and warm mouth sucking the life out of him.

“Good girl,” he murmurs despite the painful clamping in his jaw. A slight hiss escapes from his breath, and Xander groans from the building pressure as her lips wrap around the base of his cock.

He feels faint, light-headed even. All he knows is that he’s seeing stars where he shouldn’t, and the delicious, velvety feel of her tongue sliding up from his balls to his tip almost makes him keel.

But it’s all so _slow_.

His jaw clenches harder from unmet anticipation, and for the first time in his life he silently prays for the self-control he needs before he fucks her mouth senseless. He gives a drawn-out exhalation and weaves his fingers through her knotted hair, hoping to guide her towards a better rhythm. “Good girl, Kamui,” he repeats the phrase like a mantra, pleased with how such small words of praise beckon her faster.

Kamui is more than happy to hear every groan fluttering from his lips. With one hand gripping his balls and the other perched on his knee, she focuses on her task and allows herself the smaller pleasures of _feeling_ him tremble from her touch. His muscles are otherwise so firm and taut, that to feel him soften and warm makes _her_ sing out her own muffled moans.

Xander can’t breathe. Not anymore. His throat is cut dry, and everything from the waist down hurts too good for his liking. It doesn’t take long for his hips to start rocking with her head, and suddenly Kamui finds herself confronted with the wall of muscle that is his stomach. If he doesn’t stop her soon, he’ll finish before they can even start.

“Kamui…”

She answers back with another muffled moan, and he’s sure it’s _his_ name struggling to be uttered as his cock rams against the back of her throat. He is failing to be gentle, and he knows it. With his free hand he pulls back a wayward lock of her hair, curling it around his fingers for a firmer grip. 

_Fuck._ Nothing better than a vulgarity seizes his mind when his vision blurs white. Everything — every muscle and every vein throbs painfully, but the sinful sound of his hips slapping against her mouth spurs him on.

Kamui peers up once more, brandishing her doe-eyed gaze as her pursed lips slide up and down his erection. She sucks as she comes down on the base, squeezing with her tongue and mouth as her fingers pinch his balls.

Xander’s ready to burst when he barely grunts out her name, and that’s all it takes before the swelling pressure builds and sears down his spine. A spasm shakes him, and soon a whole-body shudder leaves him trembling as his seed sputters out. He takes every second he can to watch as he pumps it all into her mouth, thrusting until his tired hips taper down to a halt.

“Kamui…” he utters her name again, entirely breathless.

“Yes?”

How can she sing out the most angelic word, all the while kneeling before him in the most heathenish pose? On the corner of her mouth, Xander reddens when he sees his cum dripping down like some stain along her cheek. Kamui catches on to his panic, and she tilts her head to the side with the most curious look.

“Do you want me to do something else?”

“No,” he answers quickly, surprisingly flustered, “that’s enough…”

The break is brief and fleeting. He takes a few moments to breathe, but already Kamui shows signs of growing cold. She huddles closer to the foot of the bed, shivering so violently that her bare shoulders brush against his thigh.

He almost laughs at how predictable he is; how he is so quick to scoop her back up in his arms and lay her gently on his lap without another word. He stops himself from reminiscing on the old days (those not-so far away days of his younger self coddling a much smaller Kamui). He sighs, nuzzling his nose along her hairline until he leaves a soft sigh close to her ear. His lips graze the point, sending more shivers down her spine just as he cinches her waist with the breadth of his arms. “I can’t say no to you, can I?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” she answers with a knowing gleam in her eye. A laugh almost sputters out, but she is quick to stifle it behind more kisses. The gesture almost tickles Xander, and for a second they both get to forget themselves as he holds her close, laughing and whispering soft kisses by candlelight. “Either way,” she starts up again, cradling his face in her palms, “I’m glad you came tonight. I’ve missed you.”

The confession startles him. “I haven’t been gone for too long, have I?” He palms the ridges of her spine, trailing smoothly down until his hand lands on the small of her back. She almost coos from the gesture, perking up with a bright pink hue coloring her eyes.

“No,” she replies, “not really.”

The tacked on remark makes him frown.

“Not _really_?” he parrots back. “I’ve only been gone for—”

“Two months I know,” she answers a bit too readily.

_'Two months? What could have happened in two months...'_

“I missed your birthday,” he says, feeling sheepish. The corner of his mouth twitches with muted self-reproach, and he’s forced to accept Kamui’s tightening embrace as she reassures him with a wavering smile.

“It’s okay,” she adds, giggling as she plants another kiss on the crook of his nose. “At least my wish came true.”

Staring back at her, he finds a loving warmth in her expression that gracefully ages her. Their position reminds him a little too much of the times he would console her, cradling her whenever her heart broke from the minor crises of her lonely, sheltered days. Kamui is eighteen now — not that much older than Leo, but Xander remembers what a toll otherwise meaningless numbers can take. Despite her attempts at self-restraint, her act isn’t difficult to parse through, and the longing in her sigh is a more than palpable hint. Back then, she always feigned a stoicism far beyond her years (and quite unlike her, he might add), and it would take some hemming and hawing on his part to get to the point.

“And what wish is that?” He holds her closer, and the back of her thighs brush up against him, all too aware that he's gone flaccid since. With a glance he sees that her cheeks burn a scarlet hue from giddy remembrance of what they had just done, and it’s enough to quell the guilt bubbling in his chest. At least, he thinks, he always knows _how_ to get to the point.

“I wished that you would spend the night with me… like you used to.”

She’s timid about her confession. It shows in the way she huddles closer, averting her gaze by nuzzling her nose into his neck.

“Like I used to?”

“Yeah... the way you’d hold me when I was little…”

The confession scares him. Has he gone too far?

His muscles tense up, and Kamui is attentive enough to sense his low-simmering panic before he utters a word. She immediately looks up and, first wiping her mouth, gives him a small and playful peck on the lips.

“But you’re here now, holding me,” she murmurs. “That’s all I can ask for.” Kamui goes for another kiss again, but this time Xander takes the liberty of deepening it, parting her lips for _just_ a bit more.

His free hand combs through her hair, tangling towards the base of her skull as he holds her close. The kiss burns just as hot as the first — painful in how good it feels. It leaves them hungry and lost, their mouths trailing one another at a breath’s end.

Xander’s shaking. He’s still numb from the orgasm, and he’s all too aware, from Kamui’s ravenous kisses, that she’s yearning for more.

“I’m sorry.”

They stop. The words fall from his lips like glass shattering into a million pieces. Kamui stares at him, incredulous and breathless as she mutters with a nervous chuckle, “for what?”

 _‘I’m sorry Kamui.’_ Failing to say the words, he swallows and takes a deep breath. Her eyes water with that familiar, fearful look, and he’s quick to coax those fears away with a few caresses, brushing away the unruly strands of her hair.

With a sigh, he reminds himself that he can never say no to Kamui.

“It’s nothing,” he manages. He brushes away her bangs some more to leave her forehead exposed, planting a doting kiss before humming softly into her hair. “We should get some rest.”

A part of him wonders, fleetingly, if she knows this too — that she has him wrapped all around her finger. Her eyes dry a little too quickly, and the pout vanishes in time for her to smile, all nymph-like, before wrapping her arms snugly around his neck. He knows she wants to argue in her playful sort of way, where she insists with another hungry kiss that they should finish what they started.

But Xander has his ways too. He swiftly puts an end to their lapse in judgment, blowing out the candle by their bedside table before pulling her in and spooning her in the middle of the bed. “Go to sleep,” he commands her. It’s the stern, fatherly voice he puts on whenever he’s in no mood to brook her tempting protests.

And Kamui knows better than to challenge him, chuckling softly before kissing (yet again) the sharp line of his collarbone.

It isn't that he can't give her what she wants. That need is all too present in his mind as he rests his chin on the crown of her head, feigning a yawn as he tightens his grip around her small frame. But there are some things brother and sister should never do (especially when only one knows the truth), and he hesitates crossing that line before she can know it.

"Goodnight Kamui," he whispers, and he's content to close his eyes when he feels her squirm to get under the sheets with him.

“Goodnight big brother.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new warnings: vaginal sex tw, cunnilingus tw, and muted breeding kink tw

All Kamui wants is to understand Xander.

She spent the greater part of her life watching him, waiting for him even. Now, with him so close to her, she can’t help but feel a slight tinge of disappointment when their eyes meet and the realization hits. She isn’t any closer to understanding the man she’s adored for so many years — not then, not ever.

Their gaze never breaks as he trails kisses down her navel. Her nails dig into the wooden beam beneath her, scratching against its grooves as she hisses from the feel of his tongue sliding down her inner thigh. The stone wall behind her is cool to the touch, but it’s the only thing propping her up save for, of course, Xander himself.

“Are you sure this is okay?” she asks, managing a mousy whisper despite the resounding echo of the tower.

Xander peers up from between her thighs and fixes her a stony look.

In that moment, Kamui remembers that the tryst was _her_ idea — not his. She had lured him to the abandoned watchtower south of the fortress: an ideal hunting ground for lovers with secrets to hide. For Kamui, it’s a safe place to turn what should have been a one-time mistake into a routine. By now, the cobwebs strewn about the ramparts are familiar, and the once precarious passage upwards is now nothing more than a small game of hop-scotch to the practiced princess. All the while, Xander follows her by the hand, filled with silent self-reproach as he falls yet again into temptation.

Today, his face is couched between her legs, feasting on everything she has to offer. She has a leg perched over his shoulder for added support, and he helps her with a bruising grip of her thigh.

 _‘You know the answer_ ,’ his look seems to say, but he never says it. Instead, he laps hungrily at her folds, licking and kissing as she melts all over him.

She nearly buckles when he sucks vigorously on her clit. He’s using a bit more force than she would like, but her hips nevertheless cant forward with violent need. She arches her back as she lifts for him her skirt’s hemline, inviting him deeper with a wider part of her legs. “Please…” she begs through panting breaths.

Not a day has gone by without her asking, and not once has he refused her. For one reason or another, Xander hasn’t dared more than these childish games of touching and kissing. He’s more than happy, of course, to let her get on her knees and suck his cock dry with her pretty little mouth. And now he’s acquired the new bad habit of eating _her_ out — a new pastime that the two learned in their night-time fumblings.

And who is Kamui to deny him all these pleasures? All she wants is to understand him, and with each lurid getaway, she feels hope bubble in her chest that perhaps _today_ is the day.

Watching him now, from such an unflattering view above him, the sheltered princess is certain that this is the lowest he’s ever been to anyone. Yet privileged as she is (with such an exclusive view), the deadened glaze in his eyes nevertheless seizes her with a heady mix of terror and arousal. She’s afraid and haplessly at his mercy, and all she can do is follow the senseless want between her thighs as she rocks her hips in tandem with his mouth.

She bites down, her sharper fangs puncturing her lower lip as she stifles another moan. He answers with the press of two fingers, relishing in the clench of her muscles as he tongues circles all over her center. Xander has made her come countless times by now. It’s practically second-nature to him, but he has his way of drawing things out, and it frustrates Kamui to no end.

“ _Please!_ ”

She fails to suppress a cry of pleasure when he grabs her by the ass and dips his tongue into her. The two rock back and forth, her cunt rutting into his mouth as she cranes her neck back and screams.

Kamui is being loud, and she knows he’ll scold her for it. But a part of her laughs, bouncing against his face with reckless abandon as she screams his name and sings in lilting tones, “Brother please!”

The delicious friction of his tongue gets a bit too much, and her hips jerk violently as the orgasm washes over her in waves. It feels good, Kamui realizes, to keep rubbing her engorged clit against his mouth; to let it go numb as their once steady rhythm bursts into something uncontrollable and she gets wet all over. Her moans escalate into desperate cries, and she’s positively shaking as the pleasure swelling between her thighs spears her like a dull, blinding ache. By the time her rutting tapers down to slower and languid motions, she’s out of breath and barely able to cling to the wall behind her.

“Xander… thank you…”

The words sputter out in between hitched breaths. Her eyes struggle to stay open now that exhaustion has her completely limp. Her legs are still still stretched out over him, flimsily clinging to the weakening support of Xander’s arms. He waits a bit before moving away from underneath her skirt. The awkwardness wedges itself between them when he struggles (to her surprise) to lift her from the beam and, without rising, gently takes her into his arms until their bodies are pooled together on the floor.

They’re both clothed, unfortunately. Kamui discovers a tad too late how unseemly sweat looks when brother and sister are rapt in an embrace, lost in the dark corners of an abandoned tower. This would have been the third time they met in secret, and a part of her wonders if he’s willing to go further.

She wraps both arms around his waist, gripping tightly as she presses her cheek against the firm breadth of his chest. His heart is thrashing, and it makes _her_ pulse even wilder. Meanwhile, Xander is busy holding her steady, his free hands combing through the tangles of her hair while he whispers small and subtle kisses along the curve of her cheek.

“I love you,” she says.

The confession comes quietly — softer than the breeze flitting through the cracks of the ruined walls around them. Kamui buries her face into his chest, nuzzling until her nose stops close to where his heart beats loudest.

It’s unlike her, she realizes, to make him say more than he’s willing. She’s normally the one who follows his lead, watching with doe-like innocence for his next move in order to know hers. But something in the way he holds her makes her feel fragile, as if one wrong move will make her lose him forever.

“Xander, please, say something.”

A hiccup pinches her throat, and Kamui’s fingers dig into his tunic with muted concern. He hasn’t said a word since they started, and this unusually protracted silence scares her more than anything.

And though it happens way later than she would like, his answer nevertheless comes with the familiar certainty of his voice. “Kamui, _of course_ I love you.” Xander cups her cheek, thumbing circles along her jawline as his other hand brushes away the damp strands of her hair. “Have I ever said any differently?”

He kisses her for good measure, but somehow the gesture falls short and Kamui is left with a pout deeper than the furrow of his brows.

 _‘Then why?’_ The question stops at the tip of her tongue, and she instead bites back the question with a slight huff.

Xander is confused. Understandably so. Through all their trysts, she’s been nothing short of mischievous, egging him on when she knows better. Now something heartfelt is forcing its way out, and the feelings he’s tried to bury for her sake are bubbling to the surface.

“What’s wrong?” he’s quick to ask.

But any trace of hurt or sorrow is quick to fade. Kamui glances up at him with a soft smile as her hand dithers down to his chest. He still has his tunic on, but she relishes how surprisingly smooth he is. The smile on her face grows wider when she recalls, thanks to this playful habit, always wanting to touch his bare skin.

“You know, I noticed something today,” she starts, as if the previous conversation never happened. She takes a second to gulp back her nerves, looking askance now that she’s under his stern scrutiny. “When you’re with me,” she phrases it delicately, afraid that anything more precise would sully the secret they’ve been sharing, “you’re always very quiet. You don’t say much when I ask, but once we’re there….”

He studies her with an unreadable expression. Neither scowling nor smiling, a hardened expression takes over that leaves a shudder down her spine.

“Today, well,” Kamui continues, pinching her eyes shut as she presses her forehead against his neck, “The way you were moving today… I thought you were trying to tell me something.”

“Moving?” He’s dumbfounded. Xander’s mouth hangs open as his hands move down to her waist, straightening both their postures in an effort to meet her eyes.

Kamui nods her head with a slight _hmn_. “The way you kissed me and—” She avers with a blush, and her hands nervously clutch the lap of his collar tighter. “—touched me, it seems like you’re not happy.”

Her words stun him, and in that moment Xander can do nothing but gape as his heartbeat accelerates with alarm.

“Something’s bothering you, isn’t there? I’ve watched you for so long now… I know when something bothers you. You never say anything, but I can feel it in how you fight, how you move… I felt it in training earlier today too.”

For a moment, they both forget where and how they are. The silent stone slabs of the ancient walls close in on them, and the few rays of sunlight peeking in through the cracks vanish with the howling breeze which leaves them both shivering. Kamui is still clinging to Xander. With her feelings out of the way, she can face him once more and trust in the way he holds her — unfailing and unmoving even as he stares at her in muted shock.

“If it’s okay with you,” she persists, emboldened now that she feels the firm grip of his arms, “I can listen. I’ll be here, and I’ll listen.”

The proposal is humble, and she briefly regrets not having much to offer by way of comfort. And though her eyes glisten with a desperate plea, pouting as she waits what seems like forever for his response, Kamui musters the courage and faith needed to wait. Patiently, she rests her head over his shoulder, content to let the offer hover over them while she savors what she can of their fleeting moments together.

All she wants, she reminds herself, is to understand Xander. Even just a little. And if he chooses not to let her in? Her lip quivers at the thought, but she does her best to stifle the fears and hold onto him anyway. What does it matter if he rejects her? Even if their little affair stops, and he no longer favors her with nightly visits and ill-advised kisses, they’ll still have each other.

Xander, for his part, mulls everything over with that dauntless scowl of his. His brows are especially furrowed given everything Kamui had just said, and he takes the silence as a reprieve for much-needed thoughts.

“You’re right,” he relents, swallowing a wad of air stuck in his throat. He takes another second to continue combing back her hair, which stubbornly drapes over her face all lace-like. “There is something on my mind.”

Kamui looks up at him with bated breath. An expectant gleam in her eye shines a little too brightly.

“I’ve been meaning to say something for a while, ever since we started… this.” Failing to find an adequate word for it, Xander shifts uncomfortably from beneath Kamui. She readjusts on his lap, piqued by everything he _isn’t_ saying. “There are some things that if you knew — if _anyone_ knew — would horrify you. I’ve done them for reasons I’ve long ago accepted, but a part of me is afraid.”

“Afraid?” she balks, giggling at the thought of her peerless big brother being afraid, “I can't imagine you afraid of anything!” This time it’s _her_ turn to brush away a wayward lock of his hair. She pushes back a tousled curl, hiding it behind his ear as she caresses him.

“Don’t tease me Kamui,” he chides, but a more lighthearted smirk smoothes away the rough sternness in his words. “Many things scare me. For instance, I’m scared of losing _you_.”

The confession is unexpected. Kamui blinks back her surprise and tilts her head with a curious expression. “You can never lose me,” she readily answers. “I’ll always be by your side. No matter what—”

“That’s kind of you, but I’m not so sure you’d feel the same if you knew the truth.”

Kamui’s heart stops.

“The truth?” Something shakes her voice to the brink of terror, and Kamui finds herself pulling away. The cool touch of the stone floor against the back of her thighs nearly pricks her.

But Xander remains steadfast. His unwavering gaze locks her in, and his hands grip her by the waist so she doesn’t move another inch.

“I love you. Do you believe me when I say that?”

Kamui gives a tightlipped nod. Something in her gut tells her that’s not the actual revelation he has in store.

It takes Xander a while to get his start. He breathes deeply at first, starting his confession the same way he starts any sparring session — with a sense of calm and concentration befitting a seasoned soldier. Yet steeling one’s nerves for pillow talk can only add to Kamui’s apprehension, and she’s not anymore reassured when his soft exhalation gives way to a sober question.

“When we first started seeing each other,” he finally begins, “what did you think?”

“What did I think?” she echoes, audibly confused by his drawn-out explanation.

“Yes, tell me exactly your thoughts and feelings when you invited me to your room that night.”

Kamui points a pensive finger on her chin, pondering exactly what she can recall from a night hazy with so many feelings.

“Like I told you, I wanted you to hold me like you used to.”

“And that’s all?” he presses further into the matter. His tone is more earnest than she expects, and it makes her nervous. “You weren’t afraid or worried about what it could mean?”

“Well, a part of me was afraid. I knew what I wanted to do. Not many people would understand, I know, but in my heart it felt right.” She draws a hand back and balls it into a fist against her chest. “I thought, ‘what would Xander do?’” She chuckles to herself, somewhat bashful in revealing her total admiration of him. Kamui stops to look at him, watching him closely as the corner of his mouth twitches now that he’s met with such tender words. “And then I knew exactly what you would do.”

“And what would that be?” Xander asks, surprising her with a soft look and a subtly wry grin.

“That you’d follow your heart. You don’t care what others think, knowing your intentions are good and true.”

Her hands fall flat on her lap, and Kamui pauses to sit squarely before him. She murmurs her words gently, feeling listless now that emotions she had long ago suppressed are breaching the surface.

“When you were gone the past couple of months, even through my birthday, I was hurt. I thought you had forgotten about me, but then I remembered that you work hard for the people you love. And I wanted nothing more than to help you — to ease your burden, even if just a little…”

Kamui falters in her explanation — wordier than expected, but heartfelt and true.

“People might judge us. They might even say my love for you should never be allowed but,” she pauses only to wrap tired arms around him once more, breathing in the sweet musk of his scent that she now finds so familiar, “... but I don’t care, because I want to help you, Xander. I want to ease your burden and make you happy, if only a little.”

Xander gapes at her, shocked at what he’s hearing.

“How long have you felt this way?”

To that, Kamui playfully giggles. Her shoulders give a slight tremor as she heartily replies, “For as long as I can remember!”

“Good, I’m glad…” He sighs out in relief, but whatever peace her answer gives him is short-lived. Xander bites back his lip as one final sign of his reluctance. “I want you to know, Kamui, that this changes nothing. I loved you when we were only siblings, and I love you now as a woman.”

Kamui frowns. “What do you mean?” she asks with a detectable crack in her voice. “‘When we were siblings?’ Xander, what are you— …”

“Fifteen years ago, father brought home a child,” Xander’s frown deepens as the truth spills out with no hesitation. His breathing is surprisingly calm, and his hands are perfectly still as they cling to Kamui’s clenched fingers. “At the time I accepted it. He said she was a child of royal blood — a princess of Nohr, but a part of me… No, I knew in my heart that this was a lie. I knew the truth all along.”

A pin drops in the shocking numbness of her thoughts. Kamui’s breath hitches, and her entire body clamps up with brittle tension.

“What are you saying?”

“We were never brother and sister, Kamui.”

She’s shaking. She doesn’t know, exactly, _what’s_ shaking her. His words? The stony deadness in his eyes? Or the complete absence of wrinkle or a twitch on his calm and unfaltering countenance? For the first time since the affair began, Kamui feels terror. Her heart skips a beat, and suddenly she finds it difficult to breathe.

A part of her cries out, _‘Be happy!’_ She desperately tells herself that this is good news. Now, all the guilt and anxiety that hardened her into making the choices she now has to live with… _They mean nothing now.’_

“I’m sorry,” she draws away from him. It’s a day of many firsts, and one of them is the strange and foreign revulsion she feels in touching his skin. “I’m sorry… this is… I don’t know what to say…”

“Kamui,” he calls out to her. His voice anchors her against tempestuous waves, and it’s enough to make her get over the initial hurdle. Her eyes snap up to him with a plea, and before long she’s back in his embrace.

“Nothing’s changed,” he reassures her.

Nothing? An unspoken protest squeezes at her chest. He’s wrong, she realizes, because, on the contrary, _everything’s_ changed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she blurts out. A part of her shrinks further into him, and she has to grab hold of his shoulders to stop herself from sinking. “When we first— … I thought I might...”

Kamui is uncertain, and the confusion terrifies her. There are few things in the world worse than being locked in a tower all her life. One of them, she thinks with an increasing sense of panic, is never knowing why she even ended up there to begin with.

“I’m sorry…. I think I need a little to process this,” she tries to say firmly, drawing away until they’re completely disentangled. A chill creeps in where his warmth used to be.

Xander, meanwhile, stares at her with an intense scowl. She knows he’s not mad, much less mad at _her_. She knows, because this is how he gets whenever he feels regret or any sort of helplessness.

All Kamui wants is to understand Xander: the man she’s called her brother all her life and adores with every spare second of it. The thought that he might have been a different person all along — that he’s not the man she thinks he is… It leaves a burning, aching dread like a pit in her stomach. Maybe she doesn’t understand him after all. Maybe she never can.

But does it matter?

Xander senses her apprehension and takes her quivering hands into his. “I’m sorry for not telling you the truth sooner. I meant to protect you all these years, but in that regard… I’ve failed.”

“No, don’t say that!” she tries to whisper her protest, but it comes out as an emphatic and muffled cry. Despite all the mounting doubts and confusion, Kamui can’t stand seeing him so sad. That tortured furrow in his brows, the sad glimmer in his eye, and the subdued frown that teeters so close to the self-loathing he had always bottled up… She would give anything to take it all away.

“A part of me, I admit, is a little heartbroken,” she says, swallowing back her nerves. Kamui straightens her posture, mimicking (without trying) his rigid stance whenever he has to show courage. “I was so proud to be your sister, and all this time I was worried about what it all means… But you’ve never failed me. All those happy memories we have, as a family and even recently—” She can’t allude to it. Putting words to it gives it an awkwardness that ruins the moment, so she squares her shoulders and continues more quietly, “Even if you’re not my real brother, at least not by blood, I know you’ve always protected me. I felt it before I knew it.”

Silence follows after her heartfelt confession, and the two sit across from each other with thoughts too loud to put to words. Never one to put up with it (she’s had too many years of loneliness to tolerate it), Kamui breathes back and sighs, letting her exhalation trail with a small chuckle. “If anything,” she pipes up, “I love you more now. I can’t explain it, but I’m really happy too. I knew something was bothering you, but I never thought you’d tell me what it was… It makes me happy to hear you trust me with the truth.”

Her good mood is infectious, and Xander can’t help but let go a little smile of his own. He gives an audible _hmph_ , relaxing as he answers back, “Very well then. If that’s okay with you, I want to love you. Not as a brother, but as—”

Kamui jumps up and hugs him, cutting him off in the rush of her excitement. “Nothing would make me happier,” she sighs, more dreamily than perhaps she intends. She wraps snug arms around him and whispers close to his ear, “I love you.”

* * *

They wait until later that evening. Xander had insisted on it. Their first night together, he told her hours before, would not be on the floor of some dusty ruin. It’s more for her sake than his, she presumes. Xander is never one to settle when it comes to his family, and Kamui proves no exception.

But there’s a difference. This time, it’s Kamui who steals into the night, feeling her way through darkened corridors until she winds up before his door. The moments after are a blur. All Kamui is conscious of is the feel of his arms when he pulls her in and the strange sensation of floating as he carries her from the threshold to his bed, kissing her all the while.

It’s not until she’s straddling his lap that they get back into a routine. Xander undresses her first, as he always does, rolling up her nightgown above her sleeves with unexpected gentleness. But Kamui is a little less neat. Hungry hands vie against her hungrier kisses as she struggles against the laces of his tunic. The fabric stretches taut as she rolls it up from the broad width of his shoulders. The sensation when she feels him — the bare naked feel of him against her hands — sends a shudder down her spine, and the mere contact is enough to make her whimper with barely subdued hunger.

“Kamui, lie down,” he orders her once all their clothes are left forgotten on the floor.

Kamui nods obediently, crawling from his lap towards the middle of the bed. Uncertainty shakes her limbs, and in that moment she trembles from anticipation. He’s seen her naked so many times before, but seeing his silhouette hover over her as she slowly reclines leaves a violent stutter in her heart. Her hands instinctively jut out, palms flattening against his chest.

“Are you alright?” He’s worried. Of course he is, and that alone is enough to steady her hitched breathing.

“Yes, brother— I mean…”

Her little fumble makes him chuckle. She barely has enough time to be embarrassed, however, before he pins her down with a kiss more ravenous than the last.

Her cry of surprise softens to a moan, and before long she’s drowning in how hot he is. His skin, his lips, his sweat-drenched hair… She opens her mouth wider, letting his tongue feel hers as his hands trail down to her hips. Kamui nearly squeals when he grabs her by the ass and wedges himself between her thighs. His cock is already hard, and it makes her blush when the tip rubs against her navel.

For one so nervous, she isn’t all that fazed when, after a deep sigh, his mouth rushes down to the nape of her neck. Her legs sprawl out wider in response, inviting him closer with each little touch.

Her breathing gets ragged when she feels his mouth over her breast, and her toes curl from the gnawing sensation of his violent kisses. She feels his teeth graze her skin, nibbling soft flesh as his free hand cups the other with a firm and greedy grip.

Their limbs are tangled, and everything about them — the sweat, smells, and heat of being so close yet so far — is so confusingly lost that Kamui is no longer sure whether the heartbeat thrashing against her eardrums is hers.

Maybe she can never understand Xander, but she can be with him. And the thought reassures her when he looks up once more and meets her eyes with lust clouding his gaze.

“Kamui, look at me.” His voice is raspy, and his palms are clammy on her skin.

Kamui nods in response, barely managing to swallow back her nerves. She thinks he wants to say something. She can see it in that earnest look of pleading in his eyes — a look he reserves only for her. No one else can read it quite like she can, to see the subtle quiver of his lip or the deeper grooves of his forehead as he mulls over what he’s about to say.

“I am,” she murmurs softly. Her response surprises him, and he nearly recoils when she raises a hand and drapes her palm along his jaw. Her thumb traces circles close to his ear, caressing gently like one coaxing a frightened animal. “I’m here…” She repeats the words over and over like a mantra, and it’s enough, she thinks, to banish any of his lingering doubts.

He reaches down and strokes himself, the sound of it all making her more nervous with each delayed second. She swallows as she clasps her legs around his waist, letting out a slight hiccup when she feels him enter her. Xander is usually so quiet, but a long and breathy moan slips out as he sheathes himself inside her. She clenches with a sharp gasp, and her eyes scrunch closed from the new feeling of suddenly being pulled taut.

“Yours,” she whispers, panting as she clings to his shoulders and presses him closer to her. “I’m yours...”

She doesn’t see the smile that tugs at his lips as he goes deeper. Tantalizingly slow and unexpectedly gentle, Xander’s rutting is restrained, and it shows in the way he enjoys the feel of her — warm and deliciously tight around him. In that moment, he sinks his face into her hair, breathing in her scent to forget everything else. _Only her_ , he thinks. _There's only her._

“I love you, Xander— … I love you,” she tries to say, but their bouncing is too rugged. The bed is creaking from the sheer force of his thrusts, and all she can do is hold on with her thighs as they hug and fuck senselessly into the night.

It hurts a little, Kamui thinks. His rhythm is too erratic, and she sees in his unwillingness to keep a steady gaze the remnants of doubt that had plagued him before. “Please,” she begs, squeezing her thighs so she could pull him deeper inside of her. “Don’t hold back…”

Xander’s pace flares when he feels her nails dig into his skin. She’s half-moaning, half-whispering into his ear meaningless pleas, and her whole body coils tightly around him. It’s all he needs, and whatever restraint or fear there was makes way for something more savage. His rutting gets even faster and more forceful, breaking from his prior, leisurely pace. He no longer cares, he realizes, how loudly the bed wails beneath their recklessness. Xander bites into her neck and holds onto her for dear life, while Kamui merely locks her thighs around his waist and hopes her song-like moans don’t reach the entire castle.

Xander is so lost. The whole world seems to vanish in the heat and sounds of her. The air is thick with her scent, and the need to push deeper swells in his groin just as she clenches around him. Even in the dark, he can see the shape of her bouncing recklessly between him and the mattress, and a part of him reels as he glimpses her small yet tender breasts plop from the blunt force of his thrusts. Heedless grunts rattle from his throat, and soon he’s pumping so ferociously into her that nothing save the sounds of wet skin slapping against skin reaches his ears.

“Inside me— … please…”

His body knows to obey before he even catches her meaning. Her hips cant forward, and a part of him goes mad when their bodies rut in tandem, and he’s _convinced_ that he’s drowning in the deepest part of her. His hands desperately dig into the thick of her hair, knotting the strands into his fists as he rides out the orgasm and groans into her skin.

Kamui bites down on her lip as she takes all of him, relishing in the searing heat that fills and spreads inside her with a slight twitch in her foot.

It’s not until he falls completely limp and sprawled on top of her that a shudder rolls through her body and leaves her breathless. For a while, nothing but the pitch black of night engulfs them, and the sound of their rugged breaths makes up for the harrowing silence that follows after.

Xander waits for his heartbeat to calm, slowing from the wild tempestuous pace to something steadier. “I love you,” he says, peering up from her chest. He lurches forward and plants a kiss on her lips, smiling as he strokes her hair.

“I love you too,” she says listlessly with her eyes still scrunched shut. She can feel the sweat pool close to her lashes, and her body feels too sticky and hot to peel away from him.

Looking at her then, watching the faint outlines of her chest rise and fall in the dark... Xander can't help but feel a tinge of shame and regret as the doubts creep back in.

There’s hubris, to be sure, in believing that nothing can go wrong after this; that laying with her and getting her with child will go unpunished — unnoticed, even. But a part of him is too drunk in love and too addicted in her pleasure to care. So instead he holds her tighter, curling further into her until the back of her legs brush against his sides.

“No matter what… I’ll protect you, Kamui.”

She wrinkles her nose, concerned at the sudden shift in his mood. She reaches up again to kiss him, combing back a curl of his tousled hair that was dangling over his nose. “I know,” she replies. 

For now, this satisfies him, and they lay there for what seems like hours — touching and holding until their consciousness drifts slowly into deep and restful sleep.

* * *

_Some months later..._

She feels his eyes on her when she gets up from the bed to tie her dress. It doesn’t phase her when he too gets up. He follows from behind, ready to help lace up her corset in their now rehearsed routine.

“Hurry,” she urges him with a slight giggle, “they might think we’re up to something.”

Xander gives a wry smile back before laying a soft kiss on the ridge of her spine. His hands tug at the lace, squeezing her whole torso as the corset cinches her torso. “Aren’t we?”

He spins Kamui around, making her face him.

His irreverence makes her laugh, and she can’t help but steal another kiss or two through it all. “I’m not looking for trouble.” She’s feigning sternness, and she’s bad at it. "I just wanted to spend time with my brother!"

But it excites him nevertheless. “I think it’s too late for that.” Before long he’s pulling her back into his arms, running his hand down her stomach only to feel a little bump.


End file.
